I walk into the crowded place

I listen to the people around me

I see that where ever I look

People are happy, laughing, and having a good time

I feel something’s missing but can’t tell what

I taste the cold air and the rain on my face

I look around and see people I know

People I used to laugh with

People I used talk with

I have a feeling

That I’m going to go back to the beginning

I pick up what I want and begin to look around

I sit down as no one says a word

I look at them in the face and I see their smiles

I think about speaking but they wouldn’t see me anyway

I stay right in front of them and they don’t see me

I get up and leave like a shadow

No raises an eye as I drift off

I know when I don’t come back

Nothing will be said or done

This is the beginning

When I first arrived everyone I saw was a stranger

No one knew me or saw me as I walked past

Sitting there in silence with no one around me

I start to see people laughing and smiling

I look down at myself and see nothing but a frown

I want to get up

I want to go over there and over there

But my past tells me not to

It tells me that the same thing will happen

That I will become a burden; a shadow

For someone who tries to be seen

I just can’t get them

To look at me

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